How do they find out?

My six-year-old daughter is on track to surpass me in knowledge before long. She has an uncanny ability to ask deep, probing questions, which I often struggle to answer. Sometimes I get lucky and she asks one I can manage.

Today, she explored the areas of marketing and networking. She has recently joined a Girl Scout troop, the "Daisies." This morning, she asked me: "Mom, how do other people find out about Daisies?"

I responded: "People can learn about Girl Scouts in many different ways. We learned about your troop from the other moms and dads of the girls on your soccer team. Some people learn about it from friends at school, or church, or other places like that."

She replied: "Oh, I see. So, a girl might go to school and tell her friends about Daisies, and the idea spreads from there."

"That's exactly right."

My little marketer in the making. I wonder what ideas will be spreading when she's my age.

Where's the value?

Information is free. It didn't used to be. People and organizations used to derive their power from owning information.

A leading thinker on the new world of free information is Seth Godin, of whom I'm a big fan. One of the questions he explores is that of identifying what people actually pay for.

A few months ago he wrote the following:

In a world of free, everyone can play.

...Of course, it's ironic that sometimes people pay money for my books (I view them as souvenirs of content you could get less conveniently and less organized for free online if you chose to).

Since reading this post, I've thought about it quite a bit. I asked myself some hard questions, including: "If people can access accounting and tax information for free, why do they pay me? Once they realize it's all available online, will they stop paying me? Where is my real value?"

I've come to a few conclusions on the matter, one of which I posted about on my blog for the tax geek in me. I believe my professional value lies in my ability to do the following with information:

• Filter for content
• Translate for clarity
• Apply for benefit

Filter - As Mr. Godin wrote, all of the information in his books is available for free online. But they are still valuable, in part because they filter and organize the infinite mass of free information out there. In all areas of life, we need knowledgeable people to filter information for us, whether they are doctors, lawyers, accountants, or salespeople at Wal-mart. Our most valuable resource is our time, so a good filter is priceless. That's one of the reasons people flock to a great blog -- they trust the blogger to filter information into valuable content.

Translate - The wisest people in the world know that the most effective way to communicate is to talk like a normal person. No one wants to listen to somebody that's just trying to show off how smart they are by using big fancy words that sound like a foreign tongue to the average listener.

Apply - Like Kevin Costner did at the end of Field of Dreams, people are always going to ask the question: "What's in it for me?" And if they are paying for your services, you better be able to provide a good answer.

So that's where my mind has gone lately. Now that information is free and easy to access, there's really no telling where it will go next!

"No, I won't"

Last week, I celebrated a milestone birthday - the "big 30". At the risk of sounding "touchy-feely", I admit I've spent time reflecting on the past, pondering the present, and thinking about the future.

For the most part, I'm happy with what I've done with my first 30 years. There are bits and pieces I'd love to go back and erase, but I figure everybody has those. Fortunately, I wouldn't change any of the big things -- marriage, kids, education, career. Those are all keepers.

That being said, life is very stressful right now, with things like trying to sell a house (it's not a great market, had you heard?), waiting to learn where the Air Force will send us next summer, and a cute little toddler who keeps waking up screaming in the middle of the night.

People often comment on how tired I look. When I mention the baby waking up in the night, 9 times out of 10 the person says:

"Enjoy him while he's this age. You're going to miss this!"

My response is always the same (whether I verbalize it or not): "No, I won't."

I'll wager at least one parent out there is thinking: "Oh, but you will miss this! Just wait and see!"

In college, people would say the same thing: "Enjoy it now, because you're going to miss this!"

Here's the thing: To me, there's a big difference between remembering a time with fondness and missing it. The fact is, there is no "perfect" time in life. Each phase has it's pros and cons, and the key is to enjoy the pros as much as you possibly can. That doesn't mean you pretend the cons aren't there, or that they aren't hard.

This is the improver in me, and I realize it's hard for some people to understand. I can love my kids more than anything in the world while admitting I look forward to getting past the preschool years. I don't wish their lives away. I enjoy the smiles and laughs in the present, and at the same time look forward to the next phase.

I enjoyed college, and at the same time looked forward to life after graduation, including no more finals and a paycheck.

You really can appreciate where you are and think about where you're going. At no point in my life have I looked back and longed to return to a previous time. I hope I never will. I hope I'll always be able to look back with fondness, but never miss it.

I'm not worried about whether my glass is half full or half empty. I value what's already in it, and I look forward to filling it more. Life is good. Even so, no matter how many times I hear: "You're going to miss this!", my answer will not change.

No, I won't.

Black, white, and gray

Stacie Clifford Kitts over at Stacie's More Tax Tips provides a thoughtful post related to my discussion of juggling work and family. I was immediately intrigued by her title: "I'm Afraid My Opinion Won't Be Popular."

I definitely agree with what I believe is Stacie's fundamental message: Children deserve parents who are fully committed to being attentive, available parents.

Each day, we are bombarded with different people and things vying for our attention. We choose where we devote our limited resources, whether consciously or not. The choices we make are evidence of what we truly value, where we are truly committed. (As you may have noticed, the concept of "commitment" is a favorite of mine.)

As Stacie writes: "Motherhood really is a full time job, and let's face it; few people can successfully pull off two full time jobs."

Before having my first child, I decided I was not one of those people who could pull off two full time jobs. I've always worked flexible, part-time hours during my mommy years, and plan to do so for several years to come.

For a long time, I felt guilty for not wanting to be home with my kids full time. I remember a mom with three kids telling me: "I was a teacher before I had my kids, and now I home school. I always loved teaching and wanted to be home with my kids, and now I get to do both!"

I immediately thought: "Wow, that sounds like my worst nightmare."

Sounds terrible, right? But the fact is that days full of diaper changes, Dora the Explorer, and temper tantrums don't always thrill me. By working part time, I get the break I need, along with the intellectual stimulation I crave, and I'm infinitely happier during the many hours I am with my kids.

My ever-wise mom told me years ago: "Monica, your kids want a happy mother."

The best moms know they must find some time for themselves. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children.

There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family.

I say, figure out what works for you and your family, and do that.

Hmm, I wonder if I can make some money sharing my "revolutionary" idea?

It's supposed to be hard

As always, I appreciate comments left on this here blog. My post that discussed the question: What is success? received a few great comments (including one from my mom, though I guess she's required to like me).

An anonymous reader made some great points:

Wonderfully open and accepting view! Not only is it important to define your own personal measure of success, but I think it is just as important, if not more, to recognize that your own personal definition does not apply to everyone else. I have often found myself trying to share with friends and acquaintances that a person's value is not based on their career or their income. A doctor is not more successful than a janitor. The millionaire is not better than someone living in poverty. Someone with a PhD is not more successful than a high school dropout. It saddens me when I hear people who do not believe this to be true, and refreshing when I read a blog from somebody who understands!

It's very nice to have my views considered open and accepting, because I honestly do try to see the world from different perspectives. Alas, I am subject to the occasional tunnel-vision, particularly around April 10 each year.

It's easy to get caught up in the rat race, and to focus exclusively on money and status. I'm fortunate to have a life full of people who help me keep perspective. Perhaps the greatest perspective comes from my 6-year-old daughter. She's very much like me, so having her as a daughter accomplishes a couple of good (though hard) things: (1) She keeps me humble, and (2) She helps me empathize with people who have to interact with me. And believe me, she accomplishes both things very, very effectively.

Brittney asked how I'm balancing work and home, and the first answer that comes to mind is "barely"! Parenthood is quite an adventure, one that no amount of education could have prepared me for. I'm sure right now a parent of a teenager is saying: "Just you wait!" Rest assured, I know I've got a long road ahead of me.

Long ago, I began deciding on my own definition of success, or the way I would find fulfillment in life. In addition to a career, my definition includes marriage and children, and I am grateful every day to have them.

That being said, the task of balancing home and work is hard. Very, very hard. It's not for the faint of heart. When things get really rough - like when my baby just would not sleep at night - I thought it might just be too hard. So I'd ask myself if the juggle was worth it. The answer was always "yes."

As a movie buff, I often relate life experiences to movie quotes. One that comes to mind often is from A League of Their Own:

Geena Davis: "It just got too hard."

Tom Hanks: "It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great."

When life gets tough, I try to remind myself: "The hard is what makes it great."

Here's the clip from Youtube. This quote starts at around 2:10.

I'm a fool, no doubt

Thank you to my kind readers who leave me nice comments! (To those mean readers who leave nasty comments, I have other things in mind...)

The Wandering Tax Pro Robert Flach cites the old adage: "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt." To his credit, he also adds: "Of course, I have never taken this advice." The world is better off for Robert avoiding silence!

When it comes to speaking up, I see two options: Play it safe, and avoid being called a fool; or roll the dice and say it anyway.

Speaking up is scary. Being a leader is scary. But isn't being bored, unfulfilled, and mediocre much worse?

As Even A Nerd wisely notes: "As accountants, we tend to have this perfection thing going - it keeps us from doing so many great things. Just put yourself out there -people want to work with humans not robots!"

It took me a little while to find my voice, and now that I have, I can't seem to shut-up. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong.

Thank you Even A Nerd for the wise words, and for the encouragement. Maybe I'll earn my superhero cape yet.

When in doubt, say it anyway

We've all been there: life gets busy, and fun stuff falls through the cracks.

When life gets busy in my little corner of the world, my wanderings around the blogosphere take a backseat. I fall behind, and then feel ill equipped to draft postings of my own. After all, if I haven't read about everything going on, how can I be sure what I write isn't wrong?

But I'm finally realizing that no matter what I say, I run the risk of being wrong, and that's really okay. It's better to speak up and be wrong than to never say anything. Where would we be if no one dared articulate their ideas?

That's all I have to say today. Maybe I'm wrong, but at least I said it.

Some people like me, some people don't

One of my many cousins said something surprising and profound when she was around 5 years old, which none of us will ever forget. She turned to her mother and said matter-of-factly: "Some people like me, some people don't."

What led to this insight, we don't know. She was (and is) a well-liked, pleasant girl. I guess she was just blessed with this piece of wisdom that it's taken me years to finally understand.

John Maxwell, a best-selling author and recognized leadership expert, recently wrote:

"I grew up in a wonderful, loving, positive family. I don’t ever recall my parents criticizing anyone. It just wasn’t allowed in our family. So you can imagine the transition I had to make when I got out on my own and began to receive the stinging criticisms of those I was leading. In fact, one of the most difficult emotional hurdles I faced was in handling criticism. And finally a wise old friend told me, 'John, if you’re getting kicked in the rear it means you’re out front.' What he was saying was if you’re going to be a leader, you’re going to be criticized. So get used to it."

His words accurately depict my own life experience. He provides his personal 4 Steps to Handling Criticism:

1. Know yourself—This is a reality issue.
2. Change yourself—This is a responsibility issue.
3. Accept yourself—This is a maturity issue.
4. Forget yourself—This is a security issue.

The article is a good read for anyone who is or plans to be in leadership. Because no matter how nice or great you are, if you are a leader, you will be criticized.

You've got to learn to listen to the criticism, consider what's true and what's not, change what you can and should change, and forget the rest.

After a lot of stress and struggle over the years, I'm finally starting to get this. My young cousin understood this long before I did, and she's right: "Some people like me, some people don't."

Professionals with passion

It wasn't until I read a couple of the comments on my previous post that I realized I just might be offending some very cool CPAs out there, who also happen to me one of the only three or so people who read my ramblings. Fortunately, both Joe and Bruce both have a good sense of humor!

As these individuals and others show, we're not all stuffy and boring.

I had a great time meeting some fellow non-stuffy CPAs, as well as some cool kids from other professions at the Next Leaders Summit in Cincinnati.

A quick aside: I don't write this blog to try and sell anything, not that anyone would buy even if I did. No hidden agenda here. Just a gal working remotely who has a lot to say.

With that disclaimer, I'm going to sing the praises of people I find interesting and intelligent. And Rebecca Ryan is both, as well as exciting, engaging, and enthusiastic. (Like the alliteration there?)

Rebecca is the founder of Next Generation Consulting and author of Live First, Work Second. She has an incredible understanding of people as they live and work in organizations and communities. She is the embodiment of an improver. And she's really, really nice. I followed her around like a puppy dog for three days, and rather than blow me off, she said smiling: "Hey, everyone needs groupies!"

Though not an accountant herself, she does a lot to breathe life into our little profession. And hopefully in the years to come, I can do just a bit of that myself.

CPAs , Personality Disorders, and Social Media

Have you ever noticed that every time a TV show has a character play a CPA, that person is white, male, middle-aged, and balding?

As with any profession, we suffer from our share of stereotypes. It seems that most people think of a CPA, they think of someone with schizoid personality disorder. What’s that, you ask? The National Institute for Health explains:

“Schizoid personality disorder is a psychiatric condition in which a person has a lifelong pattern of indifference to others and social isolation. A person with schizoid personality disorder appears aloof and detached, and avoids social activities that involve significant contact with other people.”

Hopefully, we younger folk can make progress in altering the public’s perceptions (and misperceptions) about our species. One way is through the use of social media, which, as Tom Hood of the Maryland Society of CPAs explains, “is not about the technology. It's really about the RELATIONSHIPS.”

Maybe someday in the not so distance future, my kids will be watching a TV show where the CPA has a personality, sans disorder.